Thursday, March 31, 2011
Mindy Gledhill - Whole Wide World (Official Music Video)
So...I love this! This is kinda my theme song as of late.
Today is my last day of State employment.
Some think I am crazy...and I might be.
But let me tell you it is the most freeing feeling feeling to walk away from something that is sucking the life out of you and imagine something else...
Scarey? ABSOLUTELY! But also so peaceful to put your faith in something higher and go with it!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Freedom came early!
YAHOO!
I put my 2 week notice in today at work!
My last day of work is 3/31/11.
Bring on spring, rejuvenation, cleaning, LOVE, cooking, enjoying, less money, learning to RELAX, projects, volunteering, more time, sleep, happiness!
I am so excited.
Thanks to the most amazing, supporting husband. I love you Josh! Wouldn't want to do it with out you honey!
I am pushing through the fear and going with our answer to our prayers.
I put my 2 week notice in today at work!
My last day of work is 3/31/11.
Bring on spring, rejuvenation, cleaning, LOVE, cooking, enjoying, less money, learning to RELAX, projects, volunteering, more time, sleep, happiness!
I am so excited.
Thanks to the most amazing, supporting husband. I love you Josh! Wouldn't want to do it with out you honey!
I am pushing through the fear and going with our answer to our prayers.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
quitting...part 1
This is going to be a long post...heads up. But I think it is worth it.
I am sure several of you have heard me complain about my job.
(sorry about that! Thanks for listening)
So, Josh and I have been talking about me being able to quit for some time. Ever since my boss transferred me out to West Valley it has been on our mind. (Which was 18 months and 6 days ago...but who's counting?!)
I can't even begin to tell you how much my job has changed over the past 18 months!
I know why, cause I have new management...hence the change. Fine, people choose to retire!
I get it... it is just so frustrating when those that take their places are not as gutsy, and hard working. They choose just to let everything fall to pieces and someone else (not management - why should they get their hands dirty!), eventually will take care of it right?! Meanwhile all their little worker bees under them are carrying this giant load of....CRAP. The crap that has slid off their desk, cause they refuse to deal with it. whatever.
So, that is enough said right? (Well I could go on and on but my blood pressure is rising and I need to get back to the point!)
We started talking about me quitting pretty seriously after we were approved for adoption and our case worker made several comments that birthmoms want to place babies in homes where there is a stay at home mom. At the time she said that, I knew she was right. But I have ALWAYS worked. I have been a hard worker all my life. I got my first real job at the age of 14 over at Lagoon and since then - that is all I have known. And of course by some of my decisions I had to work harder than others. When my caseworker said that about stay at home moms, I had to work through some personal things.... which I will save for another time. But one of them is a paycheck. I have always had a paycheck....always. I have been blessed with awesome jobs and a supportive husband. We have always been able to buy what we needed/wanted. And somehow my life has become attached to a dollar amount that is gone too quickly and is not compensating me as much as I feel it should.
So - how to get away from me being attached to this $ amount...? How am I going to do it?
The original goal to quit was December of 2012...also when the world is suppose to end according to Mayan calendar. My quit date had nothing to do with that- I promise! It just happened to work out that we would have all our 'ducks in a row' and that was the month before my HUGE 3-0 birthday!
So for FHE one night Josh suggested we make a freedom chain. (He is so adorable!) To explain the freedom chain it is a paper chain made of links. The original plan was to take a link off each week. Links of freedom colors, red, white and blue. We calculated the chain and needed to have 227 links, got busy cutting and stapling. Brayden was so excited to label each link from 227-1. We decided that it would hang in the most convienient place for us all to see (we are working on a goal together) the pantry door. So each Friday Brayden and I would be so excited and rip off a link and throw it away...because we made it through another week! A week of mom gone from 7 am-7 pm Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. A week of eating out and breakfasts for dinner and my sweet husband cooking 1 meal a week. A week of me spending long hours with people that aren't living up to their potential (myself included). A week of anger and frustration for me as there is not enough time in the day. A week of not spending enough time with those that are most precious to me...and asking them to put up with a crazy, stressed out woman/mom. This job is sucking the LIFE out of me! and the question is .... is it worth it?
More and more I can feel like someone is strongly pushing me to quit and not work. Which is so weird for me, yea I hate my job, but I have always wanted to work. Lately this feeling is so strong...and I can't even explain it. I know it sounds so weird but I can feel this happening to me. In the beginning I thought it was just my head playing games, and me going crazy...but I can't deny this feeling of someone putting their hands on me and shoving me!
Why can't it be easy for me to live by faith?! I want to be one of those persons, that just can trust and be at peace.
I am sure several of you have heard me complain about my job.
(sorry about that! Thanks for listening)
So, Josh and I have been talking about me being able to quit for some time. Ever since my boss transferred me out to West Valley it has been on our mind. (Which was 18 months and 6 days ago...but who's counting?!)
I can't even begin to tell you how much my job has changed over the past 18 months!
I know why, cause I have new management...hence the change. Fine, people choose to retire!
I get it... it is just so frustrating when those that take their places are not as gutsy, and hard working. They choose just to let everything fall to pieces and someone else (not management - why should they get their hands dirty!), eventually will take care of it right?! Meanwhile all their little worker bees under them are carrying this giant load of....CRAP. The crap that has slid off their desk, cause they refuse to deal with it. whatever.
So, that is enough said right? (Well I could go on and on but my blood pressure is rising and I need to get back to the point!)
We started talking about me quitting pretty seriously after we were approved for adoption and our case worker made several comments that birthmoms want to place babies in homes where there is a stay at home mom. At the time she said that, I knew she was right. But I have ALWAYS worked. I have been a hard worker all my life. I got my first real job at the age of 14 over at Lagoon and since then - that is all I have known. And of course by some of my decisions I had to work harder than others. When my caseworker said that about stay at home moms, I had to work through some personal things.... which I will save for another time. But one of them is a paycheck. I have always had a paycheck....always. I have been blessed with awesome jobs and a supportive husband. We have always been able to buy what we needed/wanted. And somehow my life has become attached to a dollar amount that is gone too quickly and is not compensating me as much as I feel it should.
So - how to get away from me being attached to this $ amount...? How am I going to do it?
The original goal to quit was December of 2012...also when the world is suppose to end according to Mayan calendar. My quit date had nothing to do with that- I promise! It just happened to work out that we would have all our 'ducks in a row' and that was the month before my HUGE 3-0 birthday!
So for FHE one night Josh suggested we make a freedom chain. (He is so adorable!) To explain the freedom chain it is a paper chain made of links. The original plan was to take a link off each week. Links of freedom colors, red, white and blue. We calculated the chain and needed to have 227 links, got busy cutting and stapling. Brayden was so excited to label each link from 227-1. We decided that it would hang in the most convienient place for us all to see (we are working on a goal together) the pantry door. So each Friday Brayden and I would be so excited and rip off a link and throw it away...because we made it through another week! A week of mom gone from 7 am-7 pm Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. A week of eating out and breakfasts for dinner and my sweet husband cooking 1 meal a week. A week of me spending long hours with people that aren't living up to their potential (myself included). A week of anger and frustration for me as there is not enough time in the day. A week of not spending enough time with those that are most precious to me...and asking them to put up with a crazy, stressed out woman/mom. This job is sucking the LIFE out of me! and the question is .... is it worth it?
More and more I can feel like someone is strongly pushing me to quit and not work. Which is so weird for me, yea I hate my job, but I have always wanted to work. Lately this feeling is so strong...and I can't even explain it. I know it sounds so weird but I can feel this happening to me. In the beginning I thought it was just my head playing games, and me going crazy...but I can't deny this feeling of someone putting their hands on me and shoving me!
Why can't it be easy for me to live by faith?! I want to be one of those persons, that just can trust and be at peace.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
I came down stairs the other night and Brayden was watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"(the Jim Carry version). I was wondering why he would be watching this show. Its not even Christmas season and he has been watching this show like 2 times a day for four days now. I kinda got a little irritated and said "Why do you keep watching this show"? After the second time its like HOLY CRAP kid come on now!! Some kids have the ability to says things back that puts you in your place. Brayden's response was, "I Like show that there is a CHANGE OF HEART in it" Me after that I just looked at him and stared and couldn't think of a thing to say. Man he right. Those are great movies!!
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